Relationship

How to differentiate between Love and Friendship

You’ve been close friends for a while, and it’s never been a problem until now. Suddenly, you find your face flushed when they appear. You’re up all night wondering what exactly they meant in that conversation you had that afternoon. Was he/she looking at me longingly across the room today, or was it normal? What was that dream about her about, anyway? No matter the reason, it’s time to dig deep for some self-reflection and get to the bottom of your relationship. Are you potential lovers, or just the best of friends? Is it a real Love?

Count up the following steps to see how friendly you two are. If more than 4-5 of the following seem right, you’re probably good pals. Everyone is different, but the following behaviors take place firmly in the friend zone.

 

1. You feel genuinely happy if your friend is dating someone

This one is a dead giveaway. When your “friend” tells you he’s met someone new, and that this person may be “the one,” what is your first response? If you’re truly happy, and can’t wait to meet the special person in his/her life, then you’re a great, and very non-romantic, friend.

Do your friend’s significant others always like you a lot? If they didn’t, it could be due to jealousy– and your friend could be harboring secret feelings.

 

2. You feel 100% comfortable around your friend at all times, in all situations

This is a sign of a true friend. Someone you can hang out with when you’re recovering from a cold and sound like an asthmatic old man. Someone you can see without makeup–or without showering. A person you can burp or fart in front of without apologizing.

  • Of course, when you find true love, you may eventually feel 100% comfortable around that person, too. But the courtship phase will most likely be filled with nervousness and uncertainty– not this level of friendship.
  • Friends are casual with each other. They don’t mind showing their bad or grimy side to you. But if your friend loves you, you’ll see a lot more effort in their attitude.

 

3. You can go a few days without talking and you don’t care

If you’re not wondering what your friend is up to, wishing he was there, or worrying about whether or not he’s safe, then you’re probably friends. Friends, even good friends, can be out of touch for a few days or even a few weeks without worrying too much about what’s going on.

  • This doesn’t mean that you’re not a little hurt if you completely don’t hear. But you’ve got other friends. You’ve only got one wanna-be lover.
  • If they were in love with you, you’d hear from them somewhat regularly, trying to keep conversation going, since you’re so clearly on their mind 24/7.

 

4. You feel cool with each other–there’s never any drama

If you and your friend are really just friends you probably have little to no drama. Sure, things happen and you get upset at each other, but it’s easy to deal with and brush off. Lovers get entrenched in fights and arguments, not friends.

  • Low drama. That’s why you’re friends, isn’t it?
  • You’ve each got other friends you can go chill with without a problem. He/she will hang out with other people, and he/she has no need to tell you about it. He/she is just a friend.

 

5. You don’t care too much about how your friend acts

Sure, your friend may not be perfect, but you don’t worry too much if he or she rolls with the wrong crowd, drinks too much, or just gets him or herself into a stupid situation. You’ll care somewhat, because you’re good friends, but you won’t go out of your way to try to make your friend change, or to discuss every little thing that you disapprove of. Usually, you’ll find it kinda funny. You’re just friends, and you recognize that the other person isn’t perfect, just like you.

  • Friends tend to take each other at face value. They don’t generally try to change each other unless one person is engaging in harmful behavior because they aren’t in a relationship and don’t have to make every little thing work.
  • You know when you’re making a questionable decision — and they do too. If they laugh or encourage it, it’s usually cause they’re just friends.

 

6. You don’t care too much about how your friend acts

Sure, your friend may not be perfect, but you don’t worry too much if he or she rolls with the wrong crowd, drinks too much, or just gets him or herself into a stupid situation. You’ll care somewhat, because you’re good friends, but you won’t go out of your way to try to make your friend change, or to discuss every little thing that you disapprove of. Usually, you’ll find it kinda funny. You’re just friends, and you recognize that the other person isn’t perfect, just like you.

  • Friends tend to take each other at face value. They don’t generally try to change each other unless one person is engaging in harmful behavior because they aren’t in a relationship and don’t have to make every little thing work.
  • You know when you’re making a questionable decision — and they do too. If they laugh or encourage it, it’s usually cause they’re just friends.

 

7. You can show up at your friend’s house in a sweatsuit, you lazy bum!

You can show up at your friend’s house in a sweatsuit, in your pajamas, or after a sweaty workout at the gym. Why would you care about your looks if you’re not trying to impress your friend? This one is a no brainer — you’re just friends.

  • Ditto your friend — they just care about hanging, not impressing.

 

8. Everyone around you knows you’re just friends

Maybe you really have been lifelong buddies since the 4th grade and everybody understands how you work. Sometimes the people around you can pick up on things faster than you can, and if there’s nothing to pick up on, then maybe you really are just friends. Think about how you would view your relationship from the outside. Does it look like dating, or just chilling?

  • When people suggest you are dating, or look like a couple, they just laugh. Defensiveness or blushing, however, might indicate some feelings.

 

9. You can skip town for a few days without checking in

This is a sign of true friendship. You know you’re both fine and don’t have to call, text, or see each other every five seconds just to feel connected. If you’re friends only, then waiting a few days to make contact should be no big deal, unless something important is up. What’s your communication style?

  • If they disappear on your sometimes, and are happy to pick it up when you are back face-to-face, then they’re just visiting you in the Friend Zone.

 

Credit: Wikihow


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